I Am Just a Blade of Grass
We all need coping mechanisms. Things that can get us through the hardest of days. A thought or action that can bring us back from the doldrums and into the present. A present which is constantly changing from second to second. My coping mechanism, or so I thought, used to be television. But when I was binge watching a show I didn’t even really like it wasn’t because I was coping, it was because I was avoiding.
Many of the things we do to cope with the toughness of life is not coping at all. We become experts at avoidance by cloaking it in terminology that makes it more appealing to our friends who are so obsessed with our continued personal growth. The ones who think depression can be cured with a bit of fresh air. But it’s not just them. We spend a lot of time fooling ourselves too.
Our ego pushes and pulls us like a rag doll in a Doberman’s mouth. It takes us from the highest of highs in one moment to a downward spiral of shame and pity in the next. But we are the ones who allow it. Because most of these feelings are not real. They are manifestations based on insecurity or fantasy.
The world has become uncomfortable with middle ground. With just being. We have to be great or in a complete manic episode for someone to think we are being honest. We can’t just be fine. The most centered and unaffected people are confusing to their non-centered friends. How can you just be fine?
It’s usually about control. Those of us who can feel a sense of comfort in the middle ground are really far above it. Because fine is really being mindful. Not too high, not too low, taking everything that life throws at us in stride.
But I wasn’t always good at this. I’m still not great at it. But I am so much better than I used to be about not letting things I have no control over, which is basically everything, affect me. Part of the way I do this is by telling myself I am just a blade of grass. Weird? Not really.
I Am Just a Blade of Grass
It’s pretty simple actually. It’s about acknowledging how inconsequential I am in the grand scheme of the universe. By looking at a lawn or anywhere that holds flowing grass. And thinking that all I am is just one blade of grass. A speck in the present and an even smaller dot in the history of the universe. Most blades of grass live every day, morning to night, in complete anonymity. We think they are just like the one next to them, but they aren’t. They are each a unique part of a bigger being, but still they are just a blade of grass.
It’s not just a coping mechanism for me, it’s a calming mechanism. To tell myself over and over that I am just a blade of grass. And that the continual pursuit of being more, of being that one strand that gets noticed, is futile. Because the next day I would be back in the same spot. Next to all the other blades of grass. Some taller than me. Some smoother than me. Some straighter than me.
That’s how I cope with the constant barrage of reminders from the outside world that I might be happier if I did more with myself. If I was more successful. But maybe the world doesn’t understand what success means to me. Or what being the embodiment of a blade of grass means. It’s an acknowledgment that I will never be the best looking, the smartest, the coolest. I will never be the anything in that sense. Because someone better will always come along. And does any of that stuff really matter?
I help myself by realizing how small I am every day. And the realization that the world can function just fine without me is the freedom I need to be present in each moment. And to not be distracted by the whirling dervish that is spread out electronically in front of me every single second of every day.
Just think of the life of a blade of grass. Does it sound boring to you? If so, why? Always relaxed. Always at one with nature. Always present and supporting those above it. Equally comfortable with heat, rain, snow, wind. Always steady. Always calm. Always in the background. Eternal. It sounds ideal to me.
So, the next time you are caught up in the mania of our modern world, try to find a place to sit or to lay down, preferably outside in a patch of grass. Close your eyes and tell yourself, “I am just a blade of grass” over and over until it sinks in.
Because that’s all you are. That’s all I am. Why are we always pushing to be more?