I Don't Want Anything From You

Photo by  Jason Blackeye  on  Unsplash

Photo by Jason Blackeye on Unsplash

So many people confuse want and need. And it can be quite debilitating when you don’t understand the dichotomy. It’s simple to me. I don’t want anything from you. Because I have everything I need.

I have two children. They provide me unconditional love and the invigorating breath of life that I carry with me every day. I have shelter. I have lived a fortunate life and have never had to struggle to keep a roof over my head. I have access to clean water and sustenance. I understand that this is not universal.

I don’t need anything else. If that was all I had, I would be fine. I would figure out the rest. Because these are the things I need. Not the things I want.

Love

Some people want their significant other to need them, but not me. I think that breeds a certain level of codependence. And sometimes it’s just semantics. People want to hear that someone else needs them, but do they really want that same person to need them? Like they will die without them. Would we want that for anyone? If we were to pass, would we want our partners to be unable to continue life without us?

Love is elusive, but mostly because it’s tied up within the constraints of language-based feelings. Would you rather hear that someone wants you or needs you? Personally, when someone wants me it’s hot. When someone needs me, it’s scary.

Do you need love from a relationship to have a successful life? Maybe at some point it would be nice, but will you die without it? Or will you collapse if you had it and then lose it? Maybe temporarily and that’s OK. But you will get up. And you will move forward.

So let’s be more clear about our words and our priorities.

You

I don’t want anything from you. I’m glad you are here, but I don’t need you. If you weren’t reading this, nothing about my life would change. And that’s no slight on you. I really appreciate you reading anything I write, from the bottom of my heart. But I’ll be fine either way.

Because I have everything I need. And it’s more important to me than you. Sorry, but it’s true. My kids, family, shelter, food and water are all more important than you. But what you are is a wonderful addition to the periphery of my life. And that’s why I value you.

But I want you to feel like I do. I want you to want less, but understand what you truly need. Sure, my life has been easier than some. But it’s also been harder than others.

What about you? Can you acknowledge that you’ve had it better than some and worse than others? Can you figure out what you truly need in life? I’m still working on it, but I know I don’t want anything from you. And I certainly don’t need anything from you.

What you give me is beautiful. Your time. Your mind. Your voice. Your thoughts. Your presence. Thank you. You’ve done enough.

Business

What is the most annoying thing about modern business culture? For me, it’s the incessant calls-to-action, the robocalls, the direct mail — the f*cking harassment that is modern advertising.

I’ve been in businesses where I have done all of these things. I am still trying to figure out the best way to scale off of Medium in a way where I can have an ask, but have it not be so overt. So in-your-face. Because I don’t want anything from you.

I want it to be your decision. And isn’t that the failure of most businesses? They try to tell us why we need them, but we don’t need them at all. They want us to need them. But if we understand what we really need in life, we will soon realize how to prioritize what we want.

What do you want from businesses? I want them to just do as they say they will do for the price I pay. Nothing more, nothing less. If they do more, fantastic. But don’t do less. Don’t wine me and dine me only to become lazy and inefficient once you have my business. Because I will take it away. Because I don’t need you.

Having Everything You Need

It’s more simple than you think. But word play often leads us astray. Needs are far more important than wants. But only when you truly understand what you actually need to survive. Because if you don’t process the difference, you will think you need so much more.

But you don’t. Right now, if you are reading this on a computer or a phone, you probably have everything you need. You may want more in life. More in love. More in business. More from your friends. But I doubt you need any of that. Because you are surviving right now. And you will keep doing it.

That’s why I don’t want anything from you. I don’t need you. And in turn, I also understand how little you need me. And you don’t have to want me or not, because I will be here either way. And if not, someone else will be. And you will be fine. As will I.